I justed realized that the word 'turd" is present in saturday
Dating is not our generation's strong point. We're an era that's good at getting laid.
i friday night watching house. god, i need a life, friends, and a legitimate fake id.
Ive either hit rock bottom or become my own hero.
I feel like I should limit myself to one meal prepared from a box per day
Should I be alarmed that you're a regular enough at a bar to show up in sweatpants?
Somewhere between yelling how am I gonna make it to my flight and more titie shots I stopped caring
on the subway to an interview & there's a dude doing whippits out of a cheese wil can
you're going to have to hot glue me into my dress tonight. there's no way out.
sometimes i feel like my only option in life is to be drunk or be a cat. today i am drunk
She said "I've been waiting to suck your cock since high school." I'm so glad so many freshmen are from our school.
At some point, you're going to have to talk to a tree and do what it says
we told you you couldn't get your dick sucked because you were a girl and you yelled at us and said we were 'discriminating you'
When's the last time you had sex near some ducks?
The condoms have been found. I repeat: THE CONDOMS HAVE BEEN FOUND. he isn't a collector!!!
I'm glad that we laid to rest the suspicion that he was keeping them in a scrapbook. yayy
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