She wanted to test if her costume allows her to still have sex in it. It does
He shit in the bushes next to the pool at the Venetian, after throwing up in the hallway. You really can do anything in Vegas.
I walk in to see her roommate half naked on their stripper pole. I knew I was home.
My uncles bleeding, my brother has a black eye and my moms topless in the pool... How was your family cookout?
well, someone with very low standards is getting their dick sucked
Why is your signature on my underwear?
New term. "Find a husband" fridays. It's like thirsty thursdays, but with a dowry.
Don't underestimate her when she starts going by "the vodka queen"
you know that feeling on acid where you think the world stops just to fuck with you? That's what it felt like.
So did I or did I not flash an entire concert last night?
You're breaking my sexual little heart
I got a free corona t-shirt and all I had to do was drink a beer. This needs to be a more widely accepted form of currency.
Is it bad form to puke out of a dorm window to avoid looking bad in front of the people in your room?
How about from a sixth floor window?
you tried to fight the cop who was busting the party, you said you had a constitutional right to do a keg stand...
I just got fed by 3 guys. I love my job.
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