i am not above fucking your little sister on your bed
I'm at a job interview and I smoked a little before I came. I thought it would make me less nervous. Boy was I wrong.
I will give you a bj if you get me food. NOT A JOKE. FREE BJ.
"Does your mom know how big your cock is?" Worst dirty talk I've ever had.
you lied. pity sex is amazing.
There was a gorilla playing an accordion outside of my last final. I miss college already.
I'm a little nervous about this St. Patty's Day party. Seriously, we're still finding stuff from the Halloween party.
we all took turns holding you up and pretending that you were simba and that we were presenting you to the jungle
I'm studying for my midterm by watching porn with Spanish subtitles. Surprisingly the words are still really distracting..
I will accept it in the form of tooth necklace but if you have better ideas I am open to suggestions.
Two chicks walked outta his room and all he did was beat his chest like LeBron and yell, "And 1!"
Are you 5:30 blackout again?
I tried to text you about going to the Lion's Den but sent it to my boss. She was down for it. Please advise.
Just hit on a girl with the line, "You look like Natalie Portman if she did drugs". Strike 1
Plan b and 5 hour enegery breakfast of a champion
Randomize
