I just got wrote up for "repeatedly smelling like alcohol"
That was long passed due.
Her vagina is like Vegas. high traffic and full of glitter.
before you smothered your pizza in mayo you blotted it with a napkin saying you were trying to watch your fat intake
He gave Paula abdoul a run for her crazy
Matt just took me to visit my puke stain from 2 weeks ago at the train station...I'm fucking impressive
I was just on craigslist and saw and ad for a naked yoga instructor. I will no longer be jobless.
he said i ruined lesbian porn for him
Well, I just hope you know I had your best interests at heart when I put your sandwich down my pants.
He's got serious oatmeal ass...take a moment and admire how google voice to text was able to detect oatmeal ass....twice
I fucked a 6'7 Danish man. In the ocean. At 5am. Greetings from Florida!
My last two google searches are "shiny things" and "Ohio consent laws." you should visit more often.
All I need right now is some mouthwash, dignity, and security camera footage...
I think we might have a drinking problem when the ASU kids called us crazy
No one made them take a shot with us at the 12 hour mark. That's their bad
you're welcome to come here, except my beds from ikea so it's more unstable than i am
I was looking at your nipple and it made me think of you
Well I hope so...
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