She put baby oil on her toes and i am not legally allowed to talk about what happened
Holy shit. Do you realize what this means? Officially all of my ex-bfs are either dead or gay
Pretty sure I just became the first person ever to use the word "boner" in a wedding card...
This is going to be a 3 day beach sex fest. Do you understand
Restaurants Roasting People Who Gave Them Negative Yelp Reviews (25 Pics)
please tell me why my pillow is wearing your thong...
...i wondered where i left that...
I just saw my first passed out person, sprawled out on the sidewalk like they died. I wanted to take a pic but I thought that screamed "tourist"
I was riding her and she yelled "fuck me" then someone in the room next door yelled "you don't have to say it if youre doing it."
I feel like drug tests are a little less "random" when you are employed by your father.
College: when you wake up drunk without pants and wearing a Cosby sweater
Woman Posts Harassing DMs From Creep Online, Now He’s Upset Because People Told His Mom
I still don't know his name but his ass is spectacular. Like he should never wear pants.
I just made some sangria and taking a roadie on my stroller walk around the hood! Parenting at its finest
The NSA quit spying on phones. I'm sending you SO MANY dick pics.
For a man with no legs he was surprisingly good at doggy style.
I don't know whether to high-five you or stage an intervention.
Hey I didn't mean to come across like I was judging you about your liberal sexual choices. I would like details of your threesome if you need to talk about it!
I tried to fuck you in my bathroom while my parents were in the next room. I am a clusterfuck of fun.
Randomize