just watched an entire episode so you think you can dance for head. so wasn't worth it
The world would have a new energy source if someone would just take a blacklight to the backseat of that slut's car
it was pretty much a given that i would lose my thong on dollar tequilla shot night
I thought he was joking about the hundred beer challenge until two guys showed up with a camera and boom mic. This cabin party is going to be fucked
I just remembered that I did shots out of a gay mans crotch. And there's someone saved in my phone as "Miranda knows where my car is"
He raised his arm and dropped it in his sleep to smack himself awake. He knows his phone has an alarm clock right?
Also I had a dream we made my birth control into a joint. What does that mean?
I need to stop getting in the car with my dad when im rolling balls. I think he's starting to notice my eyes aren't usually completely pupil
Idk man, most things I eat are even better than I expected. Like when I drunkenly put mac and cheese on a slice of cheese pizza or when I soberly put mac and cheese into a Taco Bell burrito.
Hey, it's all about finding the bright side. And boobs are definitely a bright side.
So i know i said I'm turning over a new leaf, but i met a guy with a dick piercing. I have to sleep with him. For science.
He showed up on school grounds wearing nothing but a suit of armor. Really at this point I'm more impressed than angry.
I need to stop adding people I want to bone on LinkedIn.
..... starting now
FYI bail money is still in my drawer. I know you have no car but you need to know this for tomorrow.
It’s like a sexy version of those choose your own adventure books from when we were kids. No matter what you choose, there will be penis!
Randomize