Bullshit. I know you're watching The Dog Whisperer
That Cesar Milan is captivating
I think I just broke my ankle. I've only had one beer. I'm getting drunk before I go to the ER so it's less embarassing.
he proposed by singing a showtune... he might as well have had a cock in his mouth at the time
Im watching him eat cream cheese and hot dog buns.
He gave me a hug and said "He doesn't deserve you, Anna. Your boobs are great, and I'd fuck you anytime. Any. Place." I need a new 'gay' friend.
How did you make it to work sans hangover?
4 words: Clif Bar soaked in tequila. Just like albert pujols
Sunday Funday has been cancelled indefinitely, due to lack of self control of all parties involved.
Don't send the creepy guy a picture of your penis. That's my Christmas wish
Wednesday is my day of reflection and making my dick and balls into shapes. So i'll be pretty busy.
We're all just looking at each other quietly, hoping that no one brings up last nights shenanigans.
Got done with class, now I'm buying MD 2020 with the ex. Sure feels like college.
Do we have to do this party tonight? I'm worried my bed will miss me...
I'm still not sure how to feel about the fact that we had a threesome with a guy the same age as my dad
MY DINNER LAST NIGHT CONSISTED OF SEMEN AND A PROTEIN SHAKE... MY TRAINER WOULD BE PROUD I DIDN'T HAVE CARBS!
And tell your penis that we can hang out tonight for sure.
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