Why are all the lights on in my house? Every single one. Someone should turn them off but I'm the only one here and I'm sure as hell not doin it.
we're doing shots for every degree below freezing it is outside
it will be an insanely irresponsible summer.the only things i plan on not doing are dying and getting pregnant.and even those are negotiable
Last night in my drunkenness I bought hurricane supplies which included a jug of wine and a bouquet of flowers. Apparently I'm going to woo Irene.
Restaurants Roasting People Who Gave Them Negative Yelp Reviews (25 Pics)
I was blowing him while he was singing Happy Birthday to his girlfriend on the phone. I win.
I'm making myself the patron saint of bisexuality
WINE AND FILM. TALK ABOUT AN UPGRADE FROM NETFLIX AND CHILL.
Hey, you should go to your facebook ASAP... i'm guessing you're wasted but you just uploaded a picture of someones dick...and everyones taking bets now if its Rick or Mikes..
Ok maybe second best. He dated a stripper. Can't compete with that level of hoeness
Woman Posts Harassing DMs From Creep Online, Now He’s Upset Because People Told His Mom
Is it sad to eat a candy bra by yourself?
I am sweating Crown. It all went wrong when the ratio hit 50-50
Verdict: uncircumcised.
Dude, my back STILL hurts from carrying the team on BP last night.
Fuck the system, do you have any medieval weapons?
It's like a donut of clothes around a pair of heels. Like they were transported to another dimension naked.
Randomize