I just Googled "how to lose weight but still be an alcoholic."
We need to either drink and not go to waffle house or go to waffle house and not drink. I need to know which is causing these shits.
I now have an ENTIRE drawer of unused disposable silverware from Boston Market... and you guys said I needed to "buy" kitchen stuff
She said i saw her in the study room, waved, disappeared, came back with a coke from god knows where, and slurred "i have a drinking problem but i ate grits"
Like. There is beer on the other side of that door and 6 yards in. If he's not back in 20 minutes to let me in, I am using this tree as a battering ram.
I ended up naked with smirnoff caps on my nipples. Dignity is now a completely foreign concept to me.
I am very happy to share that the hospital says the testicle pain is normal and that they are going to take care of it.
I guess my vagina missed him because it called and left a 5 min. message. Color me impressed
I have accepted that I am a sexual predator. What I can't accept is the lack of sexual men for me to seduce in this town.
He just kept mumbling that he was too drunk for society and then he peed in a bush
So I'm texting her. How do I steer the conversation toward "I honestly would be fine never seeing you again"?
There's a baby in the strip club. I say again: THERE'S A BABY IN THE STRIP CLUB
Dude I turned down free booze. I think I'm growing as a person.
You don't make any sense
TEQUILA
Why would I want a relationship when I’m the side dick for my boss and a few women from the gym
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