He seemed more like the type to get donkey punched by a she-male hooker to me
my debutante medallion kept hitting his balls when i went down on him
Nothing ended up happening last night because he couldn't get my overalls or fanny pack off. I woke up this morning with one strap over my overall shorts on, my fanny pack wrapped around my chest, and the baby doll still tied to my hand. Ugh white trash parties!
someone was throwing condoms at us.
no, they just magically show up around you.
This dude was wearing a "Plan B- One Step" backpack. I wonder how many more I have to buy until I get mine??
you know what would be perfect? if you flew in on a horse/cat holding taco bell and then you swooped me up and took me to disney world and it was magical
I told her my hands were paint brushes and her vagina was my canvas
Girl at work pointed out that the blood vessels around my eyes were all popped and I smell like puke
I apparantly wanted to name her baby garbage
She jumped on a table and took off her shirt and started yelling things that no one understood. For being 3, she has a dead on impression of a drunk party girl.
I just watched this dude try to convince this girl to go home with him. She was like, That's cute, you're cute.and she just walked away. Man I'm so not drunk enough to be around this level of sad.
I don't need a lecture. I'm 41. I know I'm an idiot.
How bad was it?
Stopped drinking Sunday, hungover on Tuesday bad.
Yeah just pls explain the dishes and the dildo. I don't want to lose my job over a dick in the cooler.
I just used a coke ridden $20 bill to buy Girl Scout cookies
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