I'm 3 blocks south of you watching drag queens.
it's like everything I expected to see tonight all put together in one at once
that is the greatest description ever
can we please move this conversation out of my vagina?
im poppin the ladies like they're bacne
i just put a booger in my mom's hair and i just needed to tell someone.
I just threw up and a whole piece of spaghetti came out of my nose. I don't even remember eating spaghetti.
I think I left my camera at your house. It would be in both of our best interests if you don't go through the pics.
And by hung out you mean you were in my bed for 5 minutes while your penis was in my mouth.
Although I commend your efforts to keep my penis away from her, your sister is now booty walking up my stairs. Good game though, good game.
So I'm at that stage in my life where I am stalking my stalker just to get laid
I feel that my cleavage set an unattainably high bar for 2013.
Virginity is like the pottery barn-you break it, you bought it.
Thanks....I've always wanted my vagina compared to an overpriced coffee table
I just took a service station dump so foul I had to buy gas out of guilt
The date did not go well. Turns out I once set her brother on fire.
we need to open a bar. a bar with... wait for it... A FUCKING BALL PIT.
LOL. Do you guys need a ride home?
No. we're home already. i just thought it was a brilliant fucking idea.
Randomize
