I wish I could be a nicer person. Or a more sober one.
happy early fathers day!!!
im not a father
about that...
And then she started grabbing onto random guys legs, asking their names, and if they wanted to be friends... Haha, I love when the girls my ex's are dating are total drunken whores.
This is the prime rib incident all over again
its my first week of college and i have a UTI
not easy being a whore now is it
He;s fine. He just kept saying "hurricane Gordon is coming to shore" and flexed his muscles a lot.
I'm not sure if doing him was such a good idea. Yes the sex was good, but I'm scared I set myself up for failure in 2011 because he's the hottest guy. Ever.
Oh, and trying to figure out who wants to do Molly in a frat is like asking damn children if they want puppies and candy. So just bring as much as possible.
I figured out why her friends always say g is for god when she leaves with someone. She wears a double g cup bra
Hey, so, you were my "one phone call" last night... Thanks for not picking up. See, this is why I never call you.
woke up in the back seat of my car with a naked chick and my brother tapping on the window. yup, what a night
At least they play good movies in the waiting room of the pregnancy resource center.
Stop acting like the Lucky Charms you're feeding people is actually ecstasy.
Can we make love to the Space Jam soundtrack?
Hmm should I take my nipple rings out before my sisters wedding/family vacation in Puerto Rico where I will be with my mother 24hrs a day for four days wearing a bathing suit seemingly the entire time? Or should I just risk it and not hug anyone.
Risk it. Keep the titties tough.
Randomize
