watching a tv show about cocaine.. just explained to my mom why the test monkey chose coke over food
thank you for a lively/lovely evening :)
should have blown me.
I'm so high, I forgot to harvest my farmville crops....noooooooo.
Worst stoner tragedy.
You're having sex and i just smoked and made oatmeal...i'll give you some time to be jealous
If you dedicate your next bite to me, I'll dedicate my first orgasm to you.
Restaurants Roasting People Who Gave Them Negative Yelp Reviews (25 Pics)
They're making scrambled eggs at 2 in the morning... with rum
Woke up on the floor holding a sandwich. Shots. Never again.
We already established this. No, he did not cum on the dog.
The vodka told me to go iceskating on my frozen pool. I may have attempted.
I told you, we're just gonna get ripped and light sparklers
Woman Posts Harassing DMs From Creep Online, Now He’s Upset Because People Told His Mom
The less fucks you give, the more fucks you get. Kinda like "a penny saved is a penny earned" but with vagina.
DID YOU REALLY JUST GIVE ME A FIRST BASE SIGN
I think I'm in the negatives for the quantity of fucks given today.
I wonder how drunk we can get before Christmas Caroling turns into trespassing.
All I want is dick and wine.
Recliner chair sex has moments of worry....just don't.
Randomize