so explain again why im purple
no
his mom gave me my lost underwear folded up along with the rest of my christmas present. tell me this cannot be happening.
Just had a thought: were the sirens on when we were in the ambulance?
It was pretty bad. Like cum-on-my-face-while-singing-Let-It-Snow bad.
as soon as I stop standing here with one leg up on my bathroom counter admiring my balls, I'm going to go tan. and then you may come over.
So I hooked up with a guy with a mustache and woke up on a dragon futon underneath a dragon yin-tang tapestry... My life is spiraling in a weird way.
I feel like telling him your vigina was older than him was not a good pick up line.
I was less embarrassed asking him to torrent the teen mom's porn. I'm not gonna ask him to about season 4 of PLL.
How about to stay friends we only have sex on our birthdays. Maybe national holidays too. And days we get really drunk. Wanna get really drunk?
WE'RE MOVING TO IRELAND!!!! DON'T ASK QUESTIONS JUST BOOK THE DAMN FLIGHT!!!!
Last time I checked he was house sitting for his ex while she was out of town with some new dude. He was crying about how the guy told him to stay out of his whiskey while he was gone. That's whipped
Hungover. No words. Just memes.
sometimes you just have to listen to beyonce and cry. that's how life works
I hate csi yet I find myself watching a full marathon. I am also eating hotdog buns stuffed with barbecue chips and they are quite tasty
I may just have to resign myself to life in flats. He's a sexy little chipmunk that worships me.
Randomize
