I'm gunna smoke cigs today. I feel like I'm in that powerful and gritty mood which requires them
I'm at a bar that has girls so awful looking even you would not have sex with them.
Well... I doubt that.
i woke up this morning in my bathroom,naked, with my boxers around my face and puke and shit on the floor and wondering why i didn't have a toenail on my one big toe.
compared to you, a hobo is quite responsible.
Remember that one time i smeared period blood on your face?
I hate you
the girl next to me in class just threw up in a waterbottle during our exam.
Just watched my manager erase "we've been 2 days wo an accident" and change it to "0" these ppl are too high.
Are you seriously gonna shit with that life vest on?
Well if all fails we can always become surrogate mothers. I hear that pays well.
It seems like every guy I've hooked up with all end up hanging out together, its like a cult.
But mostly fuck him senseless. Render him speechless. Have him look at my vagina and wonder, "WHAT SORCERY IS THIS?!"
If I win the contest of drinking the most water I get a chicken nugget.
You were naked too, so it cancels out. We're straight.
he taught all the little kids to ski. it was stupid hot. i'm pretty sure my ovaries exploded.
And you said I'm not athletic, I rubbed one out with my sports band on, it's the same as walking 1/4 mile.
I woke up next to him with nothing on and my thong around his neck. I just put my clothes on and left, but he still has my thong.
Randomize
