Why does lindsey know I was naked in the kitchen?
come over. we are watching hoarders and playing i spy.
You had sex with him even after he literally described himself as a "coldplay guy"? There's a line you just don't cross. There is a line.
Not even the dog will look at me anymore.
You threw a bottle at the bartender and then stole his tip jar. However, you were quickly KO'd by the bartender. Solid right hook.
dont be like that, i wasnt picking him over you. I was picking multiple orgasms over zoolander.
Dude she flew me 1000 miles down to see her, broke up with me 7 hrs after arrival, and kicked me out with a week left til I fly home. Thank god college taught me how to shack up
When this bachelor party is over and your life is in ruins, you have my permission to die.
That sad moment when you flush your Molly down the toilet at the airport & watch your vacation slowly end..
The compounded multi day delayed hangover hit me hard today, with a vengeance normally reserved for large objects that go in my ass. I don't feel good.
I don't know anybody that can get the cops to drive them back to the bar after being pulled out of a tree
it happenes
So I bet a guy he could drink two irish car bombs faster than me and I lost. now he gets to name our first son. sory.
i turned around and there he was, right in my face. i was mid deep throat of a hot dog that i was eating with my hands and no bun. you win FSU, you win.
The time to say "now you can't go and be strange about this at work" is not as you are penetrating your coworker. NOW its awkward
When a guy invites you to dinner and breakfast the next day it's implied that he's going to make some sweet loving in betwixt correct?
Randomize
