Say my name once during sex just to fuck with her. Like when it gets rough.
My astrological sign? Vagitarius.
the jail released me with 39 mardi gras beads. I need details.
I have a feeling this won't be the last time I wake up wrapped in a shower curtain with the words "Blame Bono" spray painted on it
I only have two playlists on my iPod. One for when im getting drunk, one for when I'm getting high. Is this something to be worried about?
we had to stop you from eating moldy cake.. twice.
I just found a bag of teeth...
We're celebrating his weight gain and arrest.and by we I mean I, and by celebrating I mean getting dangerously drunk
uhh when the x-ray tec was moving your head you licked his hand and meowed.. i think he knew you weren't sober
I let a guy with dreads drive my car, then demanded he take me back cause I don't let strangers drive my car, while repeatedly apologizing for being a cock block.
Their engagement party consisted of them doing shots, yelling at each other, leaving for 30 minutes, and coming back with smiles.
I'd say they're off to a great start!
Guess who just got a Christian Beliefs class to seriously discuss the spiritual implications of dolphin rape?
You realize we were screaming in the car about our apartment next year because we can "bring home randoms whenever we want" and "stare at each other from our door ways"
I think I need to see a chiropractor after giving that blow job
You can't talk like Dr. Evil to me five minutes after the greatest orgasm of my life.
Randomize
