i made the cop pinkie-promise not to arrest me if i failed the breathalizer.
he stopped making out with me and said "can I make you grilled cheese? I feel like I owe YOU something"
I hope this doesn't change things. I feel that me being a minor made it more exciting.
I elbow dropped a bag of ice to break it so we could make margaritas. I bled everywhere. Be proud.
I've blown him while he hit my bong, I've blown him while he played video games and now I'm looking for a new challenge. Don't even try suggesting a blumpkin.
I took "we live within stumbling distance of the bar" as an invitation and challenge
It feels like New Years Day all over again...me trying desperately not to throw up in the backseat & mom and dad blissfully unaware in the front
Apparently, the right response to, "How do you feel about a terrorist being in the area?" isn't, "Well, we have vodka in the freezer, so we're good for now."
I just want a boyfriend who will have sex to Disney Pandora.
I was desperate and wasn't about to let my cereal get soggy so I ate it on the toilet. Don't let me repeat last night.
Got 3360 Shoppers points for buying Plan B. I guess this all worked out for the best.
I'm actually pretty sure the amount of alcohol I drank last night erased memories from other times in my life.
she told me id be a great addition to their lesbian community and shes giving me sex eyes from across the room. come get me NOW
If history is any guide, his morals are no match for my tits
He told his wife he was too old to pretend to be straight. She tried to argue. He walked two tables over and was like this is my highschool sweetheart and he's an excellent fuck, we're running away together. It was epic.
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