On a scale from 0 to 24...wait, 3 to 24, where 6 is the lowest and 12 is the highest, how freaking high re you right now?
You took all of my sister's dolls and threw them out the window and then you started talking to her etcha sketch and mr. potato head. I later found you passed out in front of Toy Story and it all made sense.
He couldn't say anything coherently but shot off a perfectly timed "that's what she said" when michelle said he'd have to ride in the trunk because she didn't have enough room up front.
you really dont want me to drink and drive. you saw what i did to my face and that was only from walking
I owe her a pancake or a second hand orgasm
She is just riding on my slutty coat tails.
If you come, call before you come in. I'm tanning my balls. Enjoy that visual.
I called my dad at 3 a.m. because I thought he'd be proud that I didnt get arrested. Daddys little girl at her finest...
Then I hope you find a set of extremely intelligent, flexible triplets in the ethnicity of your choice.
That is the nicest thing anyone has ever wished for me
They're playing house music in my dentists office again, wtf is wrong with these people. That's not the music you want to get a root canal to
That's the only way to get approved without a guarantor.
WHAT DOES THAT MEAN WHAT FUCKING LANGUAGE ARE YOU SPEAKING
Would you like to get an apartment bong? It can be like our pet and we can give it a name.
Guy pissing in the corner in downtown Boston as his girlfriend is covering him up, yelling "relationship goals"
Yeah I knew you'd like him. He's emotionally and physically self destructive.
We would have so much to talk about!
I like how I can go from sucking dick in the my basement to singing along to veggie tales with my family in a span of 10 minutes.
Randomize
