so high and i think i just ordered a magic bullet.
did you call within the first 18 minutes? can i have the free one?
oh, it's pms. I almost cried yesterday bc my roommates didn't seem perky enough when I got home.
I took my shirt off and stood in the kitchen for an hour and a half talking to his parents about my tattoos
You lured him into the bathroom with a trail of jello shots, then proceeded to barricade the door with duct tape. You really should have thought that one through..
well the blowjob for study guide exchange was a success.
Any formal decision about whether we're planning to objectify naked women with daddy issues tonight?
Ohmygod. I don't know if I can explain how great it'll be. I hope you don't mind Subaru sex
Go big or go home. Or get a live in house boy you met 7 years ago and feel like you have unfullfilled potential. You know, the usual
I have a terrible feeling that I made out with a fraternity last night
If I'm legally allowed to go to jail than I should legally be allowed to tell a cop to fuck off. Basic principles.
Yea, but did you really have to throw a sandwich at him??
I screamed "You look like a guy I've fucked!" to your brother at a party... I have some explaining to do.
Something like, "Merry Christmas. I hope Santa shits in your mouth."?
She tied me to her bed using her honor chords. Thank god for graduation!
I love you so much and not just because your dick is perfect
I ate at the cafeteria for the first time yesterday and today I think I had an hour long fart.
Randomize
