I just googled maps his house, and took the virtual tour back to my apartment, just so I could visualize the walk of shame in the morning
dude smells like cheese burgers and loose women...... i want his life
So he said if we had sex he'd take me to Build A Bear. My virginity is so worth a trip to build a bear.
You're 20.
IT'S BUILD A BEAR!
he is so annoying
so stop sleeping with him
yeah but he is so hot when i'm drunk
He says he's "masters drunk." And if that's anything like "kentucky derby drunk" I know enough to not go over there.
This gyro tastes like lonliness
Awkward moment #23: reasuring mom that the bf and I aren't having sex as seamen is running down my leg...
just found $310, wrapped in a rubber band, at the bottom of my sock drawer with a note attached stating, "Make it rain".
All i remember is people cheering me on to drink faster than the dog, out of the dog's bowl. I just couldn't stop.
The TA leading my study session just said "now get outta here. I need to get drunk before class"
So what do normal people wear to parties? Normal meaning not you.
You wear an inflatable farm animal to TWO THEMED PARTIES and I never get to hear the end of it...
Some girl just walked passed me, said "fuck yeah!" and is now crawling up the stairs
i was really hopeful that i could make it to the end of the semester without doing something stupid enough to destroy our relationship but i guess i was wrong..........thanks vodka
An "unreasonable amount of ejaculate" isn't a reason to be angry at me.
I have loved her ever since she went down on my first wife
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