I just realized that the music from spongebob is also used in real sex HBO.
call of duty 2 was the straight man's twilight
it was 6 in the morning, and you cried until i put mulan in. then you proceeded to say every word, not to mention sing along... stop drinking.
You stood in front of a yellow Camaro and kept yelling at it to "Transform already!!!!".. yeah, I'd say you were pretty wasted.
Only your vagina holds the key to what happened last night.
Just saw a guy walking down the street carrying a giant inflatable penis
Just arrived at our party
Yeah dude. Pulled out the couch and a bird flew at me. Please tell me who put a bird in my house.
i think dick pics are a sign of a sexual renaissance
you haven't really lived until you are in a situation where your vagina is hanging out
I needed 3am water. Not 3am shots of rum.
Two of my roommates are waxing their vaginas in the living room. Can I come smoke?
I don't think I've ever been sadder than the way I feel when I finish my meal while I'm high
You're wasting your dick. It needs to be bestowed upon the masses.
Have you ever seen death before? Bc it's me right now in yesterday's clothes.
That same damn squirrel keeps staring at me like I did something wrong. Nature knows when you're hung over.
Randomize
