Tonight has been like a good ass fucking high school movie
dont get me wrong, i like when a guy is into my boobs but when he started saying mama i want milk let me suck, i gathered my shit together and bounced.
the pic of her and her boyfriend fell off the wall as we were fucking.
I think I might stay on campus instead of going home for thanksgiving and see how many townies I can hook up with and no one will be around to judge
Dude this deaf chick is totally hot, I just bought an apartment on boner ave
We invited our waitress tonight to come too.... we told her she had lightning in her veins and in return she taught us a Texas Roadhouse dance so the logical next step was invite her to a kegger.
He showed up in booty shorts and no shirt and said dont laugh dont ask questions and give me a fucking final and no one in class said anything we just sat there speehless
The best part is every argument that she makes from here on out will be refuted by "Oh hey remember that time you shit yourself wearing someone else's sweatpants at a frat party?"
I'm in the power napping at parties stage of my life
And as cleavage season comes to a close, so blooms a new season of yoga pants. And the people rejoiced.
my roommate just said she thinks she got a flashback or some memory of me getting hit by a car.
Some girl came up to us crying that she lost her phone and you said "if it's meant to be, let it be"
He said the pain stops when I get my shit together and stop being a drugged out alcoholic mess. Could have just said no.
Is it festive if I masturbate to Santa porn?
Hi you snuggled with me in my bed in a maid outfit
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