WHY DID I DRINK ALL THE INGREDIENTS FOR VOMIT?!
i'm going to be one of those im-wearing-a-shirt-as-a-dress girls today. dont make fun of me, i need laid
You can now add 30,000 feet to the places where I have puked
I'd call her a cunt, but she dooesn't seem to have the depth or warmth.
I feel like I would bang a guy with a dick piercing just to say I have...like climbing a huge mountain or somethig
Found my puke from September encrusted to the floor under the dresser while cleaning before move out ..... Oh Freshman year
We just saw him running from campus police a few minutes ago. So no, I don't think he's still passed out on the quad.
I had a guy present me his prison release form this morning as id
For someone only wearing socks and a cast, I felt reallyy overdressed
Time is so short and I miss you. (I just watched that commercial where the people all laugh and get older and die.)
My philosophy professor just told the class that he is suspicious of dolphins. The stoner in front of me totally gets it. I need to start getting high for this class.
Also- should we send out holiday cards? That say, "Eat a dick, 2014"?
not sure if destroying him emotionally was worth it but damn it's a fucking hilarious story
We need some Captain and Fanta. That shit will change your life. Sidenote, bring an IV drip to hook me to in the morning
I've spent so much time on tinder lately I just tried to left swipe an instagram photo of my neighbor
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