His moose knuckle keeps winkin at me
My gyno told me the birth control she prescribed reduces sex drive
wats the point then?
We are lost. Everyone is drunk and it all went downhill after we iced the bus driver.
I think I may have appendicitis, but the house is like two blocks from the hospital so I'm just gonna go and drink anyway.
Dude's from Puerto Rico. Majoring in Spanish is like us majoring in drinking with a minor in watching Forgetting Sarah Marshall.
i feel like you're just hanging onto the edge of functioning wino.
I WILL NOURISH YOU WITH SOUP AND PENIS!!!!!! And a sandwich of your choosing.......you like turkey?
I saw your relationship status and wanted to write "Now you can fuck with some peace of mind that she isn't giving that other guy she met online a handjob."
I mean, the sex was awesome last weekend, but I didn't even imagine I'd reached ovarian rupture status.
I'm about to play another round of who's panties are in my car.
I'm experimenting with sincerity
So you're not opposed to us ever having sex again? Because it just seems like such a waste to let a penis like yours go.
Walking back to my car from the campus library and just saw a Nuva Ring on the sidewalk. If that doesn't scream college life, idk what does.
Things could not have gone more poorly if I had stripped naked and run through the Sahara with sirloins tied to my vagina.
Maybe those shots of hot dog water wasn’t a good idea after killing a fifth of tequila.. but who’s askin
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