Ok seriously, can we bring back badminton?
i wish peter jackson would direct porn
We need to start having sex underwater more often.
they said they heard you say put it in my butt
this is going to sound stupid but when I was drunk and thought I was a stripper where I did toss my pants?
I have come to the conclusion that if you don't fulfill your life ambitions you should go into porn
Did you bedazzle the elevator?
Are you sighing at your phone and judging me right now?
he just gave me a love letter in polish. he thinks i speak polish. I DONT SPEAK POLISH
Just drug him and when he wakes up be like "you just woke up from a coma, we've been married for the past five years." It'll be like the Vow but fucked up.
Dude I sat in the corner of the party bobbing my head and singing danger zone
I was behind him snuggling, I told him I was the big spoon and he told me I was too little it was more like he was wearing a backpack.
On the other hand, this could be a new level of shame for me.
My yoga ball is now going to be used for actual exercise instead of somewhere to suction cup a dildo
i solemnly vow to never stick my penis into crazy again
I give it a week.
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