I heard it from a little bird bananas is gonna be there
Is this bird reliable bc I don't wanna be wasted running around the bar asking where bananas is
BROstal carolina. Watching a boy drinking rum and coke out of a cup of noodle empty cup.
i wish semen tasted like chocolate
I threw up red last night... I wanted to pinch myself because it wasn't green.
I just want you to know I tipped the cab driver $10 last night because I felt bad that he didn't have healthcare.
Been considering the feasibility of adopting a kangaroo. Yes I'm very serious. And yes I'm very high.
K. On the way. I need a drink.
Like a drink drink or like water?
Have we met?
if that's jizz on my steering wheel i'm gonna be pissed...and impressed.
the potatoes in the margarita machine wasn't the breaking point. its when he turned on the stove and put a bunch of bottle rockets on it that i knew the night had prematurely failed
I keep confusing the name of her and her dog. Both are appropriate.
I'm gonna eat you out with that hat on so it looks like beaker's doing it. And I'm gonna go "memememememe"
Did he ask you why you were in his back yard Sunday night?
I couldn't think of the word "bath" so instead I told him I was marinating in soapy water
I usually do that but weve been going unprotected with tribal fertility symbols painted above my door
Is it weird that I shop for lingerie by thinking if it will look good on both me and your floor?
No. Not at all.
Randomize
