Evryone should know as good ramen noodle cooked in beer sounds... its not
CAN CRIS ANGEL JUST LOOK NORMAL FOR ONCE?!
just ask for directions from a guy with a penis drawn on his window
My pussy is not your playground.
The liquor store is having an inventory reduction sale. It would be a sin not to stop and help them out.
And we all know God doesn't like sinners.
Amen.
If you're missing hair this morning, i'm sorry in advance
Pretty sure I tied my shoes laces together to keep myself from driving drunk. Fell like six times. Keep forgetting
Fun new game when high: sorting socks. Took forever. Was awesome.
Please don't smoke the bong in the bathroom while you shit. It is not a shitting bong.
Dude I sat in the corner of the party bobbing my head and singing danger zone
Now: to brush my teeth, put on my grandma slippers and earplugs, masturbate to 50 Shades and then PTFO
Had a very good bday. Have the teeth marks and bruises to prove it
our moms work together...I can just see the conversation now, hey your daughter ruined my sons marriage, that's probably how it will start.
While I was giving him head he told me he had to go door to door the next day and "spread the word of Jesus Christ" I felt like a Disney villain out to steal his virtue.
Do you think it's a bad sign of the outcome of the pregnancy test I'm about to take that I was eating a fudgsicle on the way into the drugstore? Would it make worse to tell you I also bought a big ass bag of Cornnuts?
Randomize
