dude there's automatic no homos on brad Pitt and Leonardo dicaprio. Everyone knows that
all but 2 of were put on probation for disorderly conduct. i know, visiting a hospital when your drunk is really stupid but it seemed like such a good idea at the time
swear to god, "it seemed like a good idea at the time" is gonna be on your epitaph
do not get into a discussion with my roommate when im sitting there naked ever again.
Just saw all the pictures from the party. I'm wearing a different shirt in every single one.
No it was the best sex I've had in months. Nothing turns me on more than getting rid of a boyfriend.
you don't know what its like to have your bartender tell you that you owe him beer money infront of your mother at 3pm on a tuesday
Today needs to die. The mail delivery guy watched me throw up in my yard while taking my chihuahua out in Christmas pajamas at noon. Low point in my life.
Not only have I fallen off the wagon, it ran me over and just kept going...
How have I seen you throw up on yourself 3 different times, yet we weren't Facebook friends until I accidentally hooked up with your ex?
We thought it was a good idea to send a picture to our HS science teacher where she's smoking a joint and I'm holding a monkey, and he invited us to lunch. NEW LEVEL UNLOCKED.
I can't. I'm not drunk enough for this information.
also had sex in his sister's princess style bunk bed.
but you are a princess that one was appropriate.
Everyone got an underage but her
How'd she get out of it?!
She hid in the FUCKING DRYER
The neighbors in the apartment above us are at it again. The roleplay this time is cop and prostitute. I give it 30 minutes, you? Already sounds better than the last one
You're a FUCKING ASSHOLE. Love mom
Forget work, lets run away, rob banks, and have kinky sex with fuzzy handcuffs.
IT'S LIKE YOU READ MY MIND.
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