he's mad because you were 'slandering his penis'.
Just thought i should tell someone im on the roof, if i pass out up here because no one found me, im behind the chimney
ARE YOU GOING TO SACRIFICE YOUR LIFE FOR MCDONALDS HASHRBOWNS
I can't talk to her. I know entirely too much about her genitals to hold a conversation without mentioning them.
So the old dude that tried to fight me is definitely Katie's dad. And the pot cookie's kicking in. Shit is getting weird.
My goal is to go an entire semester without cocaine. That's an adult goal right?
Why don't you throw your vagina at it and see what happens?
You got Broadway Drunk, dude. I haven't heard you sing "Music Of The Night" like that since the last time I was holding you up on the way to the subway at two in the morning.
Future roommate keeps sending me pictures of cool shit she has for our dorm and I'm just like "... I have a set of Aggie wine glasses a great set of tits."
YOU TRIED TO SWIM IN HER FISHTANK. I don't think she's going to call you.
When I got home he was in his underpants on the couch, eating pop tarts and crying while watching Voltron.
I'd like to have a moment of silence for all the dicks she's broken off
I can't wait to see you again. It will be like when we first started dating- but with less clothes.
we cut you off when you started chasing with your slim fast shake
Well, we went shopping. He bought me starbucks and ate me out in the change room at target. If that isnt the best post covid first date, I don't know what is
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