Its only 8 and she is already passed out
Perfect here is wht u do. Gently slip your index middle and ring finger into her butt hole but gently u dont wnt to wake her..let me know when ur ready for step 2
Sometimes I think that I have too much self esteem
Then I realize that I'm just really fucking pretty.
You're in a tuxedo, you can pee wherever you want.
She fell asleep with me.... We found her pantsless in the dogbed in the morning... Russian foreign exchange students
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I'm working on finding a bottomless situation. Both pants and mimosas.
Every girl my sister has brought home from college I've had sex with, check and mate motherfucker
When I took off my jeans he became more excited about my Elmo underwear than sex but to be fair, who can blame him. They're awesome undies.
Sounds good. Look at us. Planning sex like proper adults.
is it weird that our first time having sex was makeup sex?
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The dude is a cop how would I ever date a cop I wouldn't be able to talk about the first TWENTY-SEVEN years of my life!
I'm going to reward myself for having sex with coffee and a breakfast burrito.
If you fold the laundry; booze and orgasms on me.
Why am I sleeping on top of the fridge?
You were playing hide and seek with the dog. she couldn't find you and you passed out.
I just slammed a bottle of white wine before I came to Whole Foods so basically I'm just training to be a middle aged white woman.
He is obviously into the really short sex we have.
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