god. i hate danny gokey.
Hes like the kid in school that reminds the teacher they forgot to assign homeowrk.
he's mormon right? lame.
I kept pulling the $1 bills off the stage and told everyone "no no no she has to work for this money"
It's such a good feeling to send those "I'm not in jail" texts on Sunday morning
It's official, no more fat chicks or even close to that, my balls are 2 dimentional
I don't even see the point of going over to his place dressed anymore.
I hope you fall on your chin.
Jealousy makes you ugly.
So a sorority girl just introduced herself to me by saying "a guy I used to fuck just threw up on me" and then she grinded on me
Haha I'm surprised I didn't see you I was drunkenly buying $70 in merchandise including a vibrating cock ring at that cvs around that time
In the wise words of Scar: "be prepared."
Do you think Scar was a Boy Scout?
In that case, if you come anywhere near my house you can expect to be chased down various streets by a half naked me wielding a baseball bat. No, I am not giving you my address.
Why so serious bruh
We work out, have really intense sex, and then eat cereal marketed for children. We have a system, okay?
I curse you to think about Guy Fieri whenever you have sex with your lady.
I just realized my hands still smell like your cock. Which is awesome, but I wonder if the clerk at the store appreciated it.
I feel bad. I'm the reason hand sanitizer exists.
I'm in the recliner and i have a bottle of wine wedged in my cleavage, drinking from a straw. Clever and classy or pathetic and sloppy?
I don't know why, but whenever I shave my balls I feel more aerodynamic.
i just remember singing the theme song from 2 and 1/2 men to my hair
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