What the hell am I supposed to do with 50 gallons of mayo?
After going down on me he either said "there, it's over" or "there's an odor"... I couldn't hear him and was too embarrassed to ask him to repeat himself. I just got dressed, grabbed my bag, and left. So I don't think there's gunna be a second date. =(
you kept wiggling your finger at everybody at the party telling us this is how he fingered me. you seemed pretty upset about it.
She frightens me and turns me on at the same time. She's a keeper
Restraining order pending?
But think about it. I could put her gold medal around my penis
All three of us got laid last night. This is what is commonly referred to as the Trifuckta.
hope your day is as exciting as mine- one of our trauma patients just stole an ambulance out of our bay... WITH AN EMT STILL IN IT.
I managed to get through my meeting without throwing up in someone else's office, so there's that for an accomplishment today.
Just saw the ex while I was at CVS at 3am buying Depends for my heavy flow
Just saw a rice crispy commercial and got emotional. I need to go home.
He fingered me to the beat of the Fresh Prince theme song... it was pretty fantastic.
Pretty sure I love my nipple piercing more than I'll love my children someday
Just got an exam care package consisting of only adderall wrapped in money. Score onr for mom.
Just looked at my bank statement. 9 out of 10 transactions on the first page were from 9 different bars. The 10th was for birth control pills at the pharmacy. I need to rethink my lifestyle.
she peed her pants, took them off, the put them back on. but she only put her legs in one hole.
Randomize
