So apparently last night I was running around columbus circle station screaming that Obama was a pussy and that "waterboarding should always be an option" lol
after last night, i judge her for not breaking up with me
He came and then made the Jim Halpert face. does that say disappointment or what
As long as there aren't any pictures of me humping the penguin, we are good,
this must be what syphilis tastes like
Dude before you bang that chick preheat the oven to 425 I wanna make a pizza for afties
in my defence, i did try to get you to put your shirt back on, then you screamed at me to stop telling you what to do
That makes the second boyfriend of hers that I've fucked. I'm gonna start keeping an eye on every guy she even speaks to. Girl is my sexual rabbit's foot.
I promise not to drug you or anything. Please come to my birthday party.
I was hooking up with him and then someone banged on the door and shouted "When you get the chance, will you put the weed on the veranda?"
the only thing I remember was some guy took out his fake eye to use it for beer pong
Told him my main goal was to seduce the man and convince him to leave his wife for me. He didn't argue just asked me to let him know if I succeeded so he didn't waste anymore time not sleeping with the secretary at his office. I have an incredible boyfriend.
In the event that Ian's ex wife asks you, tell her I'm sweet snd innocent. No reason.
They just canceled the season. Itβs going to be harder to bang soccer moms this year
I was supposed to see Marcus tonight and he cancelled. Listen, I shaved my butt hole. Somebody is getting this WAP ππππ
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