So its not gay if you have sex with another woman and its academic
so what if I'm having sex with a woman for recreation?
Thats gay
Remember ______, girl, blonde, one of my roommates the first year of ________?
Yeah we hooked up in the top bunk bed while simultaneously having a conversation with u, so yeah, I remember her
And then he said "good night girls" and kissed each one before I put my shirt back on
You answered the door when the cops arrived with a beer in one hand and a pillowcase over your head yelling "GAGA, OOH LA LA!"
he was fingering me, then looked down and said "i like your socks"
check off brunette on the list of girls tht hit me with there cars and then fucked me later
My liver just had a heart attack.
I got so stoned last night I thought I was in second grade again
The lady at the Humaine Society gave me her nephew's number because I seem like a loving and caring person.
Does she know that each time you've adopted a new cat in the past year it's because some guy stopped fucking you and you don't want to eat your feelings?
My dad slapped my ass the other day and say I was "doing the family name good". I feel...proud
Just saw my ex AGAIN. The constellation of gays must be at some sort of weird point with Mercury.
Nothing says hey I wanna be your friend again like ambushing me with a dick pic
What's the tour de bar? Is that a thing, or is it just what you call Saturdays?
Everyone else's "needs" are getting in the way of my alcoholism.
Keep your fingers crossed. If I get to go to a Stanley Cup game I'll give you the blowjob he deserves for taking me. Because hes definitely not gettin it.
Randomize
