So my shaver died while I was trimming...ya know. And now it is half way done. I don't think there's currently any aesthetic in keeping it this way...
i fell asleep last night with fifteen animal crackers in my mouth. rock bottom dude.
I had so many friends before that round of Never Have I Ever.
I just puked in an auto zone parking lot. I'm never eating peanut butter and red wine for dinner again.
our school mascot just walked into class and threw condoms everywhere. welcome to college
he opened up his "box of magic": a crusty tube of KY jelly, three expired condoms, a fingertip vibrater, and a jar of marshmallow fluff.
I'm watching i used to be fat. I've been doing crunches for the last half hour yelling at the slut on tv to stop crying and do crunches.
i feel sorry that you can never enjoy the feeling of shaved balls
Dude you don't even know. I spilled the tequila and it took 4 people to stop me from drinking it off the table.
it was like lady and the tramp only with a jello shot on the pool table
My car smells like beer, you're here in spirit
Until they make a bed that bathes you in your sleep, I will not be satisfied.
Is it okay to thank someone for the orgasms they gave you, even though they weren't with you?
we were clicking our heels together saying theres no place like home, while the cops were tellin us to call our parents and tell them what happened.
you ate an entire watermelon by using a CD as a spoon, then proceeded to chuck the leftovers at some dudes car...
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