they just started talking about wanting to bang stephanie tanner from full house
just to let you know, don't open your linen closet for a while until i come over with a cleaning kit and geek squad
I jacked off with the cucumber and then made that fatass a salad.
I'm going to kill the bastard that switches my hot hookups from the previous night with ugly chicks
We were naked in his bed when he asked me "what should we do?"
Dude you picked up her Chihuahua and threatened to kill it yelling "it's not cinco de mayo, bitches"
I need a hobby that doesnt involve alcohol and my tv
Next year we will be 30 and no more shots during the week.
I think i smell like relationship. That's my problem.
Taking a shit on the side of the road is not how I imagined this morning would start.
Major win last night. I traded my roommate two cigs for a six pack and a bag of beef jerky. This has been a Brian weekend update
He called me piss drunk at 7:30pm while cooking bacon and said he was going to bed. I don't think he's taking it well.
The fact that he quoted freebird as his breakup speech was a little more classy than expected
But I've also made plans to crash a black tie event wearing a storm trooper helmet. I think I've found the love of my life..
I just woke up and I don't really remember anything past 1pm. How much am I missing?
A good 10-11 hours. You got laid twice. Also, you out-ran a cop and played football with a lamp.
Randomize
