I was hooking up with him in my car, he wouldn't stop with my nipples, I had to literally beat him off of me. He kept groaning too while he was doing it. Sick.
Mommy issues
some girl in front of me in class just googled "hungover+throwing up blood"
flashcards smell like vodka and my textbook is in the toilet. ready for the final
We had sex in front of Notre Dame Cathedral, but I lost my wallet. God giveth and God taketh away.
Romer got arrested for getting in a bar fight with a bus boy because he was trying to steal a keg, had it all the way to the car
I drunkenly asked a stripper to join our volleyball team.
You are number one in my heart. But in the dick Olympics you're disqualified.
I say "glasses of whiskey" like I didn't chug it out of the bottle
Wore a burger king crown while giving head still drunk this morning #blessed
I don't need no damn man when I have the cock-a-nator 2000.
I will be the DD but everyone has to call me Mistress
I'm talking to this guy I met online about French toast. I am the oddest fucking combination of hungry and horny. Wtf brain.
I didn't realize how much I relied on you for a reason to drink on tuesday
After she got off the phone with her mom she sprinted down the block screaming "I'M SO GOOD AT BEING A HUMAN!!!!!!!!!!!!!"
Thanks for fucking the skin off my dick
It was a joint effort between my vagina my feet and your hand you can't just blame that all on me
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