i just walked outside for a cigarette and three men walked by in glitter heels and gold shiny thongs. god i love chicago
this girl ate taco bell on my bed naked last night, it was the sexiest thing ive ever seen
so I woke up this morning and on their fridge, the first item on the shopping list was my virginity.
If the first sentence isn't something about weed or the nature of choclate I'm skipping class.
There's a show on the Discovery Channel about T-Rex sex. I think this just made my life.
He was wearing a Knicks jersey I had to go home with him. it was a rough season.
no seriously. she's even got the premier of the real L word on her calendar at work. that lesbian.
Fine. Just this once and because its veterans day will I send you a picture of my tits. You're lucky I love this country.
Sometime between a drunk guy asking me if I'm a Beach person or a lake person WHILE HIS HAND WAS IN HIS FUCKING PANTS or breaking up a lady fight over peewee football league I started to reevaluate my life and self
Although I would ideally cut back on smoking weed, imagine what getting high and looking for our spirit animals would be like
i wish i could tell my students that all of their lessons plans were brought to them by captain morgan and diet coke. it's like seasame street, only for high schoolers being taught by a student teacher.
Something about the fact that I could do coke off her ass cheeks just speaks to me
you were angry and didn't have anything else to throw so you threw a breakfast burrito...?
So I missed the eclipse because I was masturbating.
Can I come over?
Sorry I gave up dick for lent. Hit me up on Good Friday tho
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