Nothing is worse than puking naked in front of strangers
Who wants to bang the sort of girl you can get with Axe body spray??
taking a shot every time they compare curling to a real sport
When she can manipulate the direction of her leg hair, you know its time to leave
So you have no knowledge as to why I am hearing loud repetitive mooing from next door?
Oh and jess is gonna pee in our guest bedroom to mark her territory.
Don't worry. This time I'll get black out drunk so they'll just think it's an American thing.
What's grosser: using a dirty sex towel as an oven mitt? or using the oven to reheat superbowl bean dip for dinner?
You kept yelling "wood grain wheel" and grinding on fat chicks.
The hell is wrong with me
We watched Jurassic Park and they made me drink every time they saw or named a dinosaur. Do you know how many dinosaurs live in Jurassic Park? Lots.
The only reason I can fathom that you've been able to continue to date new people this long is that women continue to become of age each year, and the younger ones don't know any better.
YOU BETTER NOT BE SHAVING YOUR LEGS RIGHT NOW IM TRYING TO HELP YOU
Did you clean his pubes up off the table yet?
IM TRYING TO SAY GOODNIGHT STOP FOR LIKE FIVE SECONDS WITH THE DICK SUCKING
I'm now using my vagina for good, not evil. Trying to restore balance to the force.
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