Told my mom a bit ago she'd meet you tonight
Um...??
She's excited
i really wish someone from a royal background would fuck me so i could literally say i was 'royally fucked'.
Pretty certain he passed out for a while going down on me. Absolutely certain he passed out during the blow job.
judging by the mobile uploads you added of me last night, we cant keep living this way.
She actually pushed her roomie out of the way and said 'You already fucked him it's my turn!'
He ripped off his shirt and tried to give me CPR. That damn bong.
I gave the naked guy in the hotel a pop tart. He stopped crying.
I am too drunk to be out in this weather around all these animals.
I'm not saying I'm drunk, but I'm definitely saying my liver has its work cut out for it.
Mom chose Thanksgiving to tell me the reason I am here is because she was too tired to give my dad a BJ and too drunk to make him pull out.
Yes. That was the exact moment of my conscience clicking into instant high alert.
So I woke up really sad and then I looked in the cabinet and there was weed and now I'm not sad anymore
This night could easily degenerate into a drunken haze of strippers and gambling, but I need a support network.
Taking a walk while tripping face during Halloween time was a bad idea. I started crying bc I was so scared and hide in the parks playground.
i love discovering the tokens of our drunkenness from the night before. it's like easter egg hunting. today: smashed pizza rolls in the sink.
Randomize
