He should be on Bizare Foods after who he ate last night
ok this is the part where i go up stairs and pass out incoherently untill 6 30 tommaorw morning and not rember any of this. love youuuuuuuuuuuuuuuuuuuuuuuuuuuuuuuuuuuuuuuuuuuuuuuu!
Their flight hasn't even left yet and the 'buy food to keep yourself alive' budget is gone on tequila.
The guy I fucked last night is well worth up the ass tuition. I just wish I could tell dad thanks!
I will come to your office dressed as a bloody mary, hug you then leave is that a good plan?
yes. bring a barf bucket too. just. in. case.
I JUST SAW A SIGN LANGUAGE CATFIGHT
And then we made hashbrowns with vodka and queso.
I think the closest to heaven you can get in this world is your morning dump after a night of Molly
Hahaha idk what's worse your life or my hangover.
So I am watching ghostbusters and I realized Rick moranis is basically in the friends zone than he turns into the key master bangs her and it leads to the end of the world...maybe there is a reason people are in the friend zone
I'm trying. I feel like we're trying to have sex with fruitcake. dry and boring.
He told me he loved me and I told him I shit myself
We got cut off at the bar, but it's okay because I tactically rolled behind the bar and grabbed a bottle of whiskey. Meet me in the back booth when you're done puking in the bathroom. This is about to get real slutty.
I climbed to the top of a stripper pole and touched the ceiling. Accomplishment?
I hate when pretentious people talk bad ab corn dogs
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