There are only two things that should be in vaginas... penises and vegetables
i just identified you from a description of your pipe
standing in line at subway, they've got 'stand up and get crunk' blaring. the lines out the door and everyone is dancing. Lombardi Gras rules.
I didn't know there was such thing as a bad orgasm. Until him.
and then we had to stop you from trying to pour shots through your nose with the neti pot.
I don't care what he thinks. My vagina has an open door policy.
So I've gone into the break room to heat up a styrofoam cup 8 times over the course of 4 hours.. that desperate to see him. Now I have a broken heart AND cancer.
okay i am so sorry that i pulled a knife on you last night but seriously that woman knows how to throw a party.
Lets get drunk and then you just wraps me into a present because that sounds like fun after the past 3 glasses of wine I drank
I feel awkward giving career advice while naked
You then played what you called "a smooth jazz rendition of talk dirty to me" all thrusting your crotch at the bartender. Mom looked horrified, but my dad couldn't stop laughing
leads to pukin, then cryin, then 24hr masturbatin binge, then cryin again and finally a combination of all 3
I saw a drunk guy run across the street with an American flag between his buttcheeks.
I'm that daughter that had to send her mother "DON'T GET SHITFACED" & yes, in ALL CAPS.
She grinded so hard on my face that I've got rugburn on both eyelids
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