I love you
are you drunk
yes but I def love you, we should get married
But I'm Jewish
embrace Jesus
Apparently when you order 'bottomless fries' at red robin that doesnt mean you can go around to every table and eat all the fries you want off other peoples plates.
We were hooking up, both of us naked. She starts putting her clothes back on and says, "I have to go to the bathroom." I reply, "No you don't, you're leaving." Without hesitation she looks at me and says, "Yeah."
so i woke up.. still drunk and discovered my roommate in the living room passed out dick-in-hand watching porn..
What did u do?
turned the porn up and opened the windows so everybody goin to class could see him..
im so poor im using the bottom of my laptop to heat my food.
you know it's time to start studying when you've procrastinated to the point where you're reading your roommate's ex-boyfriend's wall posts from 2006.
Don't blame the cocaine for your eating disorder.
I can't begin to describe what I look like walking through the grocery store with this outfit and chocolate syrup.
I thought of you while cleaning the forehead prints off my glass doors.
You made everyone who was on the patio sit on the floor and join your "ship" because you were the Captain. It was cool though. You let me be your 1st Mate.
I have officially had sex in every room on my floor. Don't say I'm not an amazing RA.
Dude Eric's high and buying everyone taquitos. How much room do we have in the freezer?
apparently the last bar didn't like my halloween costume with syringes filled with whiskey
Whiskey dick has taught us to be smart with our time.
Terrible idea I love it
Randomize
