Do you realize that Last night you pissed in my closet and then walked to the bathroom to wash your hands?
you tipped EVERY employee at white castle
After walking in on us in the living room, he still insisted that he slept in my bed with me afterwards.
Just picture a bunch of Abraham Lincolns having an orgy.
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I really don't think you should have 'baptized' your tattoo in vodka the same night you got it.
Are we still banned from the library?
I'm currently looking through google images of circumsized penises and realizing how vital pre-marital sex is.
it's like I can see my whorish nature reflected back at me in his wedding ring.
Our foot and a bit height difference is kinda fun, except she's so tiny that after we ate burritos it looked like she was pregnant. I had a confusing bonner.
Woman Posts Harassing DMs From Creep Online, Now He’s Upset Because People Told His Mom
Naked snow angels was a very bad idea. My vag is now frozen shut.
It's 10:15 on a Wednesday night and my dick is covered in pop rocks. How's your Wednesday going?
Will you be doing the frenzied booty dance of passionate ownage on my penis tonight
Good dick will make you do a lot of things… Great dick will make you consider buying a house.
a reward? ill think of something
if its not drugs or food I swear to god ill throw a fit
And I’m prepared, because I'm in it to win it (and by win I mean get railed hard)
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