I've decided the third guy that I slept with is who I lost my virginity to...
It would be one hovered percent delicioui
This could help me cancel out guys. First 4 that text me get to stay in the loop. And the last one gets the boot. We'll do this til there's only one man standing
Their was just 7 people standing outside eating a costco chicken, definitley at the right party
I'll hold a taco with my boobs for you
I just remember being happy that I got that toilet fixed so I had somewhere close to throw up
God only knows how I ended up there doing crown royal shots to the titanic and insighting a bar wide shit fest when I asked the dj to play levels
I knew it would be an interesting night when he showed up at my house on a scooter wearing a six foot american flag as a cape.
Do you have any pix of it limp? I wanna see the metamorphosis, like a cock caterpillar turning into a giant beautiful cock butterfly!
I don't want a mention or even a whisper of a Shakespeare Festival by that or any other name including, but not limited to, a fucking Renaissance Fair. Are we clear? It will be a DEALBREAKER .
cops woke me up on the sidewalk and asked where my shoes are.. fuck if i know, im sleeping on the sidewalk! actually i didnt say that, i just cried until they gave me a ride home.
i woke up in a bed of pop tarts
You know it's a good night when the word slut is imprinted on your ass and your hands smell like lube.
Is Facebook telling the truth about your nipples?!
Lucky bitch I'm at work covered in Jeff pee. And my hair smells like beer because I was trying to prove a point about PBR serving multiple purposes.
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