I meant the "stage" gay, Not the "bend me over and call me Gary" gay.
My relationship with VH1 is so bittersweet
I didn't think it was possible for the human body to be physically dependant on weed until I moved in with this kid
I had to sleep with my math professor to pass algebra. Apparently my blowjobs are only C+ quality
Haha that's why you never name the penis. Its like a pet, once named you will most likely get attached.
Apparently throwing balloons filled with vodka off the roof is considered terrorism.
Spending 4 hours in the emergency room today tells me that your birthday party was a success.
All I've succeeded in doing since I saw you is drool on my shoulder
Had a burrito last night in your honor
That's the nicest thing you've ever done
i woke up inside a girl that i promised i would take on a date to Chili's
So do I get to ride the beginning of the November stache or what?
Why so philosophical about cake and sex this morning?
So, then you thought it was a good idea to dress up like the Hamburglar, buy a bag full of McDonalds hamburgers, go to Burger King and throw them at everyone while screaming "HAMBURGLAR!". At that point there was no stopping you.
I was at a hookups house and peed in his sink so I wouldn't wake up his mom... drunk me is on a different level
I wore my lizzie mcguire socks to the bar last night. Because that's how i get all the ladiez
Randomize
