Soooo my gf got the droid and doesn't have BBM anymore, I think its over for her
If my bosses could see, smell or hear me right now they would understand why its a horrible idea to keep the office open sundays
you were passed out in your cheese fries by the time he brought out your second order of french toast.
Seriously this night has "go home now before you cry, puke or scream on someone" written all over it.
he ate me out on his front porch at dawn. i orgasmed when the sun began to rise. most romantic morning booty call ever.
My mom opened up my bank statement today....my first alcohol intervention class is at 7:30am tomorrow.
I'll have party bus drop you off in the morning.
I SHIT YOU NOT a mailman helped me leave without waking him up.
So on a scale from 1-10 how gross is it that I used mortuary makeup on my own face?
Don't have sex in a tent there are so many opportunities for infections
That's a really terrible idea.
Awesome I'm gonna do it then, thanks for the input
I'm reading the Hobbit in my blanket fort alone with a bottle of wine... all I need is dungeons and dragons to complete this superfecta of awesome
So what your saying is you dont remember trying to hit a golf ball off my chest with a 9 iron?
The economy cant be that bad, I willingly got fired to bang her again.
My horoscope should say: you're an alcoholic, get help today, Pisces
I'm at the drive thru window, five minutes out. If the bathtub is empty or you're dressed when I arrive I'm not sharing.
Randomize
