in my opinion joe jonas is kinda pointless. hes just the pretty boy front runner.
3 of us had 22 margaritas. Hellllllo yellow cab. Goodbye morals.
the best thing about tacos is after you shit them all out you feel like to have room for your dignity to come back
At Wal-Mart last night I watched two guys scramble for $4.34 to pay for a pack of ping pong balls and red solo cups. They had to put the .34 on a credit card. Winter break begins!
I basically get to watch her life fall apart via tumblr updates
blah blah blah they called me an alcoholic because I threw my beer at a Jesus freak. it was for the best
We officially wrote our house rules 1. We do not waste alcohol 2. Pinky promises mean something 3. Don't leave your facebook open, and if you do, don't complain 4. Never refuse cuddle or catch phrase
I posted my balls on ericas instagram. It got 17 likes.
Guys, Black Friday does not exist in the world of dealing. Stop texting me asking what my deals are.
I feel like if anyone knew what an affection erection looked like it would be you
She is currently drunk and caressing my professor's face with one hand.
I'm worried because he hasn't removed it.
I just saw my 7th grade teacher at the club. We had a pretty good talk over drinks. Turns out we both like dancing on tables.
Why can't you just be normal and get dick pics from your exes like everyone else?
I think I’ve been affected by his dad mustache. I wanna ride it.
I wore my lizzie mcguire socks to the bar last night. Because that's how i get all the ladiez
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