i really wanted you to get laid last night and i didnt think you were going to. so i posted porn on your facebook.it made sense at 3am
i wish there was a 'silent except for booty calls' volume level on my phone
I would have to gauge my vagina to make it fit.
yea im pretty sure it has something do with my love of forearms...
Restaurants Roasting People Who Gave Them Negative Yelp Reviews (25 Pics)
My mom just told me to make sure my face isn't on the front cover of the newspaper on 4/21. Challenge accepted
It went alright, nothing too special, just got threatened with a knife by our server.
Im also drinking whiskey while on a treadmill wearing high heels so let's consider that for a moment.
Just chugged a Bloody Mary in 60 seconds flat. New personal best! Happy Sunday!
She dresses like Bruce Banner and fucks like the Hulk. She is all of my lesbian fantasies come true.
See if shell let you call her dr banner in bed
Woman Posts Harassing DMs From Creep Online, Now He’s Upset Because People Told His Mom
Like woke up with a dick piercing kind of drunk.
Hella random but just hear me out...A bar that is a petting zoo. Bitches love petting zoos.
I am sure I don't wanna know but I have to ask... Why is there a kiddie pool full of jello in the living room?
For reals. He's my age and he still hangs out at his frat house & gets hammered every weekend. Idk if I'm jealous of him or if I pity him
We have angered the beer gods. It feels like I'm shitting angry cats.
just hooked up with a guy ON MY CAMPUS VISIT. god only knows whats gonna happen when im actually a student
Randomize