anyone who says 'i love you' and then followed by 'im going to call the cops if you touch me' doesnt really mean the first part fyi
after I pulled back my foreskin she said, "cool like a transformer". I really like her now.
I had to go to the front counter of the restaurant and ask for the key because I was "pretty sure my friend is passed out in the bathroom right now"
That was an excessively violent trivia night
Restaurants Roasting People Who Gave Them Negative Yelp Reviews (25 Pics)
She asked if i could guess "what shape her carpet was". I got it wrong (christmas tree).
He sent me a snapchat of himself growing a double chin. I think we're past the stage where there's any risk of us sleeping together. Ever.
Sure go ahead and start this 'business' with him...just don't come crying to me when you have to fake your own death in two years
He's interpretive dancing to Crazy by Britney Spears and expressing his feelings for either me or the guy next to us
I'm going to confession for the first time in 6 years. Where do I start, the gay sex or rampant alcoholism?
Woman Posts Harassing DMs From Creep Online, Now He’s Upset Because People Told His Mom
Because you put the dick in ridiculously amazing boyfriend. And you deserve to have nice things happen to your penis. That's why.
lets face it, we have a liquor cabinet with a designated chocolate shelf
Also, I had mind-blowing sex on a pool table
So, is Canada considered an excessive distance to go for a booty call? Asking for a friend...
I miss the pre Covid days when we could meet men in bars. Hitting on guys in the grocery store is just depressing
100000% expect a picture of my ass in them
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