I am at a 420 party and i just told a girl "hey, less not getting donuts, more getting donuts"(1-855): and did she get any doughnuts?
No. I am devastated
i love how you can even make your typing come across bitchy
Shark Week may as well be Shark Weed.
can you please tell me why I'm bleeding so heavily from my ass and all my makeup is gone?
And then he said "I can't get blown while Gordon Bombay and Mr. Holland stare at me from the TV"
we watched a tutorial on how to do guidette makeup
I feel like i made up for not being able to drink on St Pattys Day, Mardi Gras, and last years Cinco De Mayo. That hungover.
i am positive it's ok to drink. it's just pieces of the plastic knife i forgot was in the blender.
I think Charlie st. Cloud is the saddest thing I can masturbate to.
look up what dreaming that you're in a lesbian relationship with a manatee means.
Tried to steal a keytar from my hook up's house.
You sprayed lysol all over me. You said that my soberness was infecting your night.
You just squeezed a person out of you and I'm drunks at 2PM. Our lives got traded and you know it and you're jealous.
she is like a cock bee. instead of going from flower to flower she goes from cock to cock
There's a fine line between kinky and serial killer
Randomize
