My Higher Power is John Stamos
Just found 50 pesos and a coke spoon in my dads old shit. Gotta love the 70s
We were drinking cognac with TAB. I felt like trailer park royalty.
the higher we get, the more he looks like ray charles.
I see you felt the need to carve your name in my kitchen table. thanks
Bob the builder, bob the uilder bob the builder bbbbbbbbbbbbbbbbjbbbbbiotch!pp!!!!
Well if you're drunk enough to make some mistakes this week I'd be down to redeem myself for my poor performance.
We looked in every room for condoms... It was the sexiest scavenger hunt ever.
I realized I used a copy of a biography of JFK as pillow last night...
Happy Fourth.
It's seriously like a finger. But it's a cock. I don't know what to do. I feel like I fuck him to be polite.
Be safe. If you have intercourse with a boy use so many condoms this his penis is no longer recognizable.
Does your drug dealer have a printer I can use??
She's still here. My penis can feel it.
Dude, I think she left with some dude like an hour ago
FOUND HER. I swear this thing is like a metal-detector
Don't worry about me. I am infinite.
You threw him in the dryer?
He went in of his own accord. Mumbled something about experiencing the blossoming of popcorn.
Randomize
