your head's too prwtty to be stuck in the books
i was just at lovers lane looking for gifts for a bachelorette party.....with my mom
Maybe I need a light up heart over my vagina like Christina aguilera to get the point across
It was the third Sunday in a row that I woke up in his bathtub. So no our sex life isn't that great anymore.
I wish there was a non slutty way to ask the guys across the hall if i can copy their men's bathroom key so I have one for my one night stands
Sometimes I seriously wonder if I could get away with vodka Sundays at work. Cuz this red bull feels naked.
Min and u sung xhionubjs. Cause that's what u kiij like a xhionunk
the gays at disneyland are vicious
Some how my underwear was hanging from the antlers of a antelope head on the wall of the hotel........
REMEBER. We are young, horny, and poor. If someone wants to give us alcohol... TAKE. IT.
It's decided. Tomorrow I'm getting a Big Mac and a Dildo
I'm not sure if 14 year old me would be disappointed or proud that I fucked him behind her middle school??
I love friends. Friendship is wonderful. I wish the rain was my friend
Yeah, let's go with that. Fuck that weak moment of complete honesty I just had.
I might be getting fired on this week so the only option i see for tonight is to get smashed and have an orgy. actually this idea might explain why i'm not an ideal employee.
Randomize
