U dropped me off n it hit me, i made it inside for exactly shit thirty on the nose, another minute n i would of had brown trowsers
I think I just got seasick
you're not on a boat
he has a waterbed.
yup put them legs up on your shoulders and eat her like some folgers
eat her like coffee?
Stage 55 clinger. not a typo. I cannot even believe this shit.
the only reason you beat me in fntsy this week is bc you wouldnt bail me outa jail in time to set my roster you dick
I wonder what my nutrition professor is going to think when I have to put 21 keystone lights, a bottle of merlot wine, and 5 rum and cokes and 4 shots of tequila on my dietary analysis
mid blow job she looked up and said "we aren't even facebook friends!"
Apparently you can coat check a keg.
I feel like if Miami and New Jersey fucked each other and produced a baby that would summarize the bar I'm in.
Dude... She just sent me a story of how she wants to fuck me on a boat and call me her captain.. Well ahoy mateys, lets set sail
Going back to the ever classy sneak out to the fridge and swig liquor from the bottle method. That it is legal for me to drink here makes the fact that I have to do this all the more depressing.
You were taking in your sleep. You were like Jess that's that animal we were talking about and you Hugged her feet
I wish our county sheriff had a comment section for their mugshots.
He obv doesn't know that telling a woman to chill will get him murdered
Yes, ur purse got stole with our condo keys in it but my slut ass saved us and we had a place to stay, AND I got to choke a motherfucker while riding him. Thats taking one for the team.
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