toast her oven
toast her strudel
inspect her gadget
I cant believe you went over there and fucked her last night after everything you said
she invited me over to play the wii, it's not like i intended to
You KNEW her power was out...
So I just did the walk of shame at dunkin... A lady told me me I was really dressed up and I told her I was going to a luncheon.
WE WERE REALLY IN A PORNO LAST NIGHT
thank you for introducing me to everyone on chat roulette as I was passed out.
dont get me wrong, i like when a guy is into my boobs but when he started saying mama i want milk let me suck, i gathered my shit together and bounced.
In retrospect, getting to second base BEFORE anal wouldve been a good idea
85% positive I just found a hair of a certain variety wayyy in the back of my mouth between two teeth while flossing.
He's still filling me in on the details. mid-table dance i asked to go water skiing?
I got stoned and explored ice caves with a guy who photographs dildos for a living. I win.
Dude...are you really going to start sexting during our friend's memorial service?
I'm just going to take a nap and hope I wake up more attractive.
alright well you definitely hurt his feelings though you told him he looked like he was going to an Amish community prayer meeting..
What's a sexy way to say balls deep???
It's only awkward the first ten minutes you realize it's not your house.
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