did not feel like going to store to get condoms last night so went to her pantry and got a sandwich bag and a rubberband
did it work?
nope
She just sent me a txt where every word ended in "zzz", with about a hundred "!!!" and called herself "juicezzz". I need back up.
i'm sleeping with myself tonight because i remember my name and i won't regret it in the morning. sorry.
She started to tell me how she goes to a shrink, so I started thinking how to sneak out of her place, then she said part of it was for her sex addiction, long story short she's got her clit peirced n I just got laid
There comes a time in every girls life when she must use her boobs for good instead of evil.
Your pregnant arnt you
SHE has hooked up with both me and my sister. I don't even know what to say. If she goes for my parents next I may have to kill her
At home depot. Final room inspection is tmrow, gotta paint over the puke stains
The guys had to come into the bar bathroom and pep talk us all off the floor
You scratched my dick last night. It deserves an apology and I fell that actions speak louder than words when it comes to apologies like this.
Just stop talking to douche bags. How do you manage to attract every asshole within a 100 mile radius?
If i could answer that i wouldn't be so afraid to move to a more populated area
she was trying to use her iTranslate app while we were having sex.
I tried...failed..now im naked on the futon since clothes are hard.
Are you sure he's still you're boyfriend when you're sober?
The last thing I remember is goading each other into a vodka-chugging competition.
I'm not going to drink anymore, and on that note I'm not going to drink any less either, so I'll see you there. . .
Randomize
