I wannas sexs uuuuu
so she proceeds to puke everywhere, look up at me like a sick dog, and then say, "i'll finish if you want me to."
I wish Morgan Freeman narrated my life.
what is college for if not random hookup sex?
learning.
i would literally fuck learning if i could.
Pregnancy confirmed. Complete emotional instability achieved. I just cried through 95% of Avatar.
he said i ruined lesbian porn for him
I told the bartender that he could give me back the tip I gave him if he outsmarted me in a battle of wits. He has yet to challenge me.
The best revenge is living well. Or pooping in his sunroof. Either or
I shaved my legs and got a bikini wax, I don't care what I take home as long as it has a penis
i dont get why youre mad at me. i promised you he looked like jim morrison and you failed to ask me like which era
Holy Hangover.. I'm marrying whoever put this water by my bed
Dude he took a shit in the lake and it just floated around and lingered near our boat for 2 hours. I fucking hate that kid
I just wanna be euthanized
Thas it
i still cant feel my toes or walk straight...its been 2 days.
Straight boys are literally imbeciles. If Darwinism doesn’t get them female rage will.
Randomize
