hahahahahahhahahahaha. 26, Dominican, has a funny accent, thinks I'm hot. Tots boning.
Is it wrong to want to cut a hole in the Tigger suit so I can molest you while I wear it?
They have a pepper shaker for pot.
It was an igloo shaped doghouse, I was obligated to hotbox it
I hope he doesn't find the chex mix when he takes my shirt off.
Ive been home for 20 minutes and I'm already in bed with a vodka tonic
I'm blaming hurricane Irene if I get pregnant tonight.
Playing basket ball at the park with random people that showed up at 1am. the division of teams is based on what drugs people are on
You've been drinking wine and eating bacon all afternoon. HOW IS THAT DOING GOOD?!?!
I am incapable of maintaining a guy's interest in me. It's like erectile dysfunction but with feelings
You peed all over his floor and had a bottle popped in your ass when you passed out. Don't tell me I'm "still living in my college days"
Fun. You missed it. Michael broke a door with his erection.
Wait, like drink with real Phil. Or Phil, the cat that sometimes lived in your closet in Myrtle Beach?
I just bought two cartons of ice cream, 5 boxes of mac and cheese and a bridal magazine. Don't judge me.
She looked up and said "I like this." I asked "what do you like?" she said "penis."
Randomize
