where are you
in your bedroom
how did you get in
your wife…
WTF
I am going to fall madly in love with a ginger, marry the ginger and have lil ginger children running all around town. Oy
You shut your mouth
think what you will about my sexuality, just get the cigarettes
ya know if you hadnt broke up with me, that porno we made wouldnt have a 3.3 rating on youporn right now...
Umm went to talk to a client ended up seeing his semi erect penis. This is my life.
Highlight of my evening, pile of books falling onto me in front of people
Just gave my little brother the collection of clothes that boys have left in my room since I've been in college for his birthday.
Sometimes I wonder why.. Then I realize I can't fool myself with that question bc we all know it's bc of his enormous dick
mom brought her knitting needles with her. its bad enough to be in the ER on new years, but to be with the knitting parent!?
Not till Sunday. I'm going to sleep in my car. And I know. This place is insane. Blood on the stAirs 5 dollar slices of pizza. A girl on our floor had a stroke.
Also, I might need your help for a prank involving a hand puppet, a coke bottle, double-sided tape, and my dick...
I am having the most awesome nonsexual conversation about my vagina right now
I deserve to have sex with a hot freshman ok
If my vagina were a person, it just ran a marathon.
So after we found out he wasnt throwing up blood in was just hawaiian punch and we all failed breathalyzers the cop drove us around like a taxi and brought us back to the apartment
Randomize
