all we need is a web designer
and a bunch of prostitutes
your idea of a balenced meal is a microwave frozen burrito, a cup of ramen noodles, and a can of budlight. honestly tell me how your resolution is to lose weight,
I just heard the term negative masterbation and I don't believe it
of all the people in our graduating class, this is exactly who would get pregnant.
Restaurants Roasting People Who Gave Them Negative Yelp Reviews (25 Pics)
P.S, i don't recommend doing keg stands on top of vehicles.
apparently i was cut off before i even walked in
Im walking to an ob gyn practice session right now. Literally have to get face first in a middleaged vagina in 10 min.
My bed smells like stale sex...I want it to smell like fresh sex, I miss you.
The only image of you you know is from reflections or pictures. Its 2d. But what other people see is 3d. How do you know that's your real face! MIND.BLOWN.
Woman Posts Harassing DMs From Creep Online, Now He’s Upset Because People Told His Mom
Hey my vagina is like a company. Everyone has an equal opportunity....
You grabbed the hot guy that was making out with his girlfriend all night, slurred "I need to borrow this" then shoved your hand down his pants. All because you thought your ex walked into the bar. It was majestic in its shitshowness.
Last night you told me you "were too high" and didn't deserve a hashbrown.
Nothing says "back to school" like walking in the first day with a hangover
Uber driver offered to have sex with me since I went home solo. - rock bottom
Sorry didnt text you yesterday. had to put restraining order on my ex.
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