my professor just told me i smelt like a brewery infront of my whole class b4 my final presentation
Im am drinking whisky alone in my parents basement. I think I just watched the point of no return stroll by.
I was under the impression that I sent actual words. turns out it was a series of letters and question marks on a side note we still had sex
Just found out the guy that gave me herpes died. now everytime I get a flare up, it'll be like he's coming back to say hello
Side note: THE ORIGINAL LION KING IS COMING THE MOVIES AGAIN--3D STYLE. We need to find shrooms.
I think I died last night. I had 14 beers..well 13 1/2 if you count the one that got spilled on the baby in the elevator.
When did we convert life to cartoon?
So stoned i forgot i was in bed
Drunk texting with my high school teacher. This hurricane is bringing out the best in everyone!
That basically sounds like the worst party of my life, and I'm including my brother's World of Warcraft themed birthday party.
I am going to go Miley Cyrus crazy if I don't get sex soon
Headline in the alligator: young zeta goes berserk after lack of sex and is found naked swinging from wrecking ball on university ave, refuses to get down until sex partner is found
I'm full of champagne and rage, of course I'm showing up at his house.
Your life has no conflict it's just a blur of sex and Netflix
Lol if he questions who I am I'm gonna send him a pic of his boxers
So i woke up this morning to find my boss passed out on my living room floor.. Awkward? Haha
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